


The Calm After The Storm

by Siriuslymoon



Series: College Avenger Adventures [1]
Category: marve - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, College AU, Human, IronCap - Freeform, M/M, Steve Rogers Is Bi, Stony - Freeform, no powers, thor is smol, tony Stark is bi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 13:58:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14672526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siriuslymoon/pseuds/Siriuslymoon
Summary: It was safe to say at this point that Tony Stark was totally and completely in love with Steve Rogers, and an absolute idiot for it.--Where it takes a storm for Steve and Tony to work things out





	The Calm After The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning; storm induced panic attack by tony

“These sisters are most interesting Anthony” Thor announced loudly, his eyes focused intently on the screen in front of him, voice wandering over to where Tony was currently huddled in the corner of the room; back curved over his desk at a rather worrying angle.

“Yeah sure” his mouth formed the words, mind not giving it much thought. Supplying Thor with enough of a reply to subside him from further conversation, and not enough to encourage one.

He stared down at the mess of sheets below him, a series of unanswered problems and unsolved equations staring back at him.

What was wrong with him?

These weren’t hard, hell he could do them in his sleep.

In fact he’s pretty sure he has.

It was a weird combination of energy drinks and coffee which resulted in a sudden unconscious crash with a side of sleep walking- and apparently sleep science.

But one study date with Steve Rogers and Tony’s brain turns to mush.

Stupid, idiotic, Useless mush.

It was safe to say at this point that Tony Stark was totally and completely in love with Steve Rogers, and an absolute idiot for it.

The second he met the blue eyed boy- when everyone was moving into their rooms and he was across the hall- he had practically melted at his feet, already knowing he’d be gone on him.

He was hot okay?

And then he got to know him, and found out he was also sweet and sensitive and everything anyone could dream about.

That asshole.

He brought food to their room when he knew none of them had eaten, he organised get togethers when the group had been separated for too long, he surprised people with study sessions when he knew they were putting it off and needed help, he showed up at your room with ice cream and movies when he noticed you were down.

He volunteered, and tutored, and contributed-

He cared.

Something Tony wasn’t used to seeing in people, and found he actually liked.

Maybe too much.

He didn’t mean to fall for him, he tried his hardest not to- but it’s just like Tony to go and mess everything up by falling hopelessly in love with one of his best friends.

And He didn’t even realise until a few months ago.

 

One particularly brutal conversation with his father and a few too many insults, had led him to drink far more than he should have, and stumble into his dorms far later than he should have, making a fair amount of noise in the process.

Steve had heard some drunken idiot in the hallway and had rolled out of his bed and left his room- fully expecting to yell at them about basic human decency; only to freeze in place when he saw a teary eyed Tony slouched against one of the walls .

“Tony?” Steve had breathed out, rushing out of his room to support his friend and becoming incredibly aware that in his haste out of his room- he had forgotten a shirt.

Tony noticed too, curling up against his friends bare chest and practically pulling him onto the floor beside him, face damp against Steve’s exposed skin.

“Tony..” Steve started, face contorted with concern, voice open and raw.

He hated seeing his friends like this, any of them being sad made his chest ache, but seeing tony in such a state had Steve heaving. Hands itching at his sides to touch, and soothe, and help.

Tony shook his head “don’t wanna talk, don’t want to anything “ 

He had looked up at Steve then, eyes empty of everything that made him Tony, and in that moment Steve vowed to sit beside Tony whenever and for However long he needed.

 

Which ended up being that night, for an hour.

Tony fell asleep eventually, curled up in Steve’s arms, and very attractively drooling on his chest.

And Steve had Carried him into his room, tucking him into his bed before returning to his own dorm- heart tight in his chest.

 

Tony didn’t remember much of that night, but he remembered the feeling of Steve’s arms, the comfort he provided- the safeness he felt.

And if he focused really hard, sometimes he remembers the feeling of lips ghosting over his forehead before he fell into the grasps of sleep, but he was too drunk to separate dreams from reality at that point- and far too unconscious to try.

All he knew was that Steve, who had a full day of classes in a matter of hours, had pushed that aside to sit with his drunk friend in a hallway.

Not talking, just holding him, just being there.

Yeah- Tony was in love.

They had become friends nearly instantly, and by nearly tony means their roomates became friends and he and Steve spent the first five days hating each other.

Something about Tony and his money, and Steve being self righteous and a dick.

But after getting sexiled from their rooms, bumping into eachother in the halls- both equally as grumpy- they decided to go see a movie.

Steve had offered to pay but Tony shut him down, commenting how he stole Thor’s cash and it would be Thor’s treat.

They ended up hanging out for six hours that night, and then everyday since.

 

“What a back stabbing bitch” Thor mumbled, shoving a handful of popcorn between his lips.

Tony smiled, pen twitching between his fingers.

“I know right” his comment earned him a beaming grin from Thor before he turned back to the screen.

 

He had been at the library today, needing a few more books for his research and maybe also spying on Steve who studied there on Wednesdays after his art class- when Steve had looked up from his mound of paperwork and beamed at Tony, enthusiastically calling him over.

He wasn’t meant to see him! Tony sucked as a spy, he needs to hang out with Natasha more- she is definitely spy material.

Steve had forced Tony to sit with him, complaining that he needed company and how Tony helped him concentrate.

How Tony’s yapping helped anyone work, he didn’t know- but Steve asked so Steve got.

Tony was fairly sure Steve could ask him for every star in the sky and Tony would try his damned hardest to get them for him.

 

Tony had some of his own work with him so he started on it, spending the next few hours in the quiet company of Steve, stealing glances whenever he could and talking when appropriate.

They had gone out to eat after, Steve mentioning he was hungry and never knowing when the last time tony ate was.

And to be fair Tony wasn’t that sure either.

So after studying and pizza and a total of five hours with Steve, tony returned home with a loopy smile on his face.

A smile that has since been replaced with a frown, because he couldn’t get his stupidly simple work done.

Stupid Steve and his perfect eyes, and smile, and arms, and-

 

“This is ridiculous” he hissed at himself, throwing his pen down and shoving his face into his now empty hands, screaming into the dips and grooves of his palms.

 

Thor, blissfully unaware, nodded. 

“It is a stupid name for a baby, I agree son of stark”

Tony really needed to buy Thor a book of modern day slang, the kid sounded like a damn Shakespearean play- and Tony’s life was dramatic enough as it is.

He was in love with his best friend for god sake, his probably 1900% straight best friend for that matter.

Though he’d never really seen Steve date, never seen him scurry someone into or out of his room- always just Steve and his books.

But Tony couldn’t talk, he seemed to have taken a break from dating too.  
Starting from the night he first hung out with Steve to- well... it’s still in motion.

 

“Come tony, join me in the watching of the Kardashian’s” his roommate bellowed, gesturing to the empty space beside him and grinning like a lunatic.

Tony considered it for a moment.

“Okay fine, I doubt I’m gonna get any work done anyway” he moved to be sat beside Thor, flinching when a large arm fell around his shoulder.

“That’s the spirit!”

He pushed the bowl of popcorn between them and pressed play.

Tony stretched his legs out along the sofa, leaning heavily against the wall of muscle that was Thor and marvelling at the empty space the sofa still held.

Usually they also had Rhodey and Bruce around, taking up more space and filling the silence- but they were both taking time off to visit family, leaving more room for Tony and Thor.

Not that either of them minded the extra space, it was just strange having two key group members missing.

“Tony who is this Kanye? And What power does he hold?” Thor asked suddenly, snapping tony out of his thoughts.

Thoughts that ranged from, ‘that bag is the colour of Steve’s eyes’ to ‘I wonder what Steve’s ass-

“Tony I have to know” Thor insisted, after Tony’s silence.

Tony laughed, presuming his friend was joking, but he was met with a serious gaze.

 

Not joking.

 

“Oh you’re for real, okay well-“

He was cut off when the previously gentle rain shifted, it’s intensity growing from a subtle background noise to a full blown orchestra of chaotic nature.

The rest of his sentence was lost in the air between them, Tony’s mouth now sealed shut and his body rigid.

It felt like all the blood in his body had been replaced by ice, veins freezing over and stiffening beneath his skin.

He was also fairly sure a metal rod was stuck down his back and was being forced to sit him in an alerted stance.

Thor resumed talking, not yet noticing his friends current state.

But as the rain picked up more and more, Tony’s breathing became more ragged and uneven- until he was left gasping for the tiniest breath.

Thor turned then, eyebrows drawn tight with worry.

Tony was about to say something, anything, crack a joke about how he’s fine, but the storm had other plans.

A loud clap of thunder forced his lips tighter together, teeth meeting skin until he tasted blood.

“Are you okay?” Thro asked slowly, as though he were talking someone down from a ledge, voice gentle and firm. 

His hand paused mid air- he wanted to touch tony but wasn’t sure what effect that would have.

The thunder became more frequent, the cracks closer and closer together until it became a constant background noise and Tony was vibrating with the forceful trembles that racked through him.

His heart was too big for his chest, his lungs felt too small, his brain was missing- he couldn’t breathe.

Thor’s face suddenly switched to one of true panic, at whatever was showing in Tony’s expression.

“It’s gonna be okay, it will die down soon-“ 

His face was illuminated by the blue projection of the lightening, wincing as Tony shook.

“Stay here” he told Tony voice firm as he shifted himself off the sofa and towards the door.

Don’t leave me. He wanted to whine, but instead settled for.

“Do I get a treat?” 

But his snark was much less effective when he stuttered and trembled around it.

Thor quickened his pace out the room.

Tony wasn’t quite sure where the fear of storms came from- he knew it was ridiculous. That they were unlikely to harm him, but rationality doesn’t play a huge role in fears and phobias.

It probably stemmed from the good old childhood neglect, that resulted in him hiding in his cupboards, or under his bed, from the blistering sounds of Mother Nature.

He felt pathetic as he curled in on himself, trying to shut out the raging sounds around him- but they were getting louder; rain pelting with such force he knew it was now accompanied by hail.

He remembered how he felt as a child. Scared, lonely, confused. He thought the world was ending right outside his window and no one had come to save him- why would no one help him?

Why was he alone?

He turned and noticed the open window, rain water gathering on the floor beneath it, gradually soaking into the floorboards.

“Hell no, I’m getting my deposit back” he stumbled off the sofa, and half ran half crawled to the open window.

He rushed to shut it, wanting to get back before any thunder split through the earth, wanted the safety of his sofa. But it was too stiff, tony was practically hanging off the handle and he still couldn’t pull it to a close.

Rain water was pelting him in the face and drenching his upper body, so much so his shirt clung to every groove and dip on his torso until it became a second skin.

Against his better judgement he peered outside, needing to see everything still intact.

He frowned when he noticed a stray bin flying across the yard before smacking into a car window, and a bolt of blue light sending itself down into the ground far too close for Tony’s comfort.

He flinched, falling to his knees and crowding closer to the wall.

He knew panic well enough- knew when his constant anxiety had taken it up a level into full blown freak Out.

And he would guess that sitting below an open window, getting soaked from head to toe, whilst loudly sobbing at the weather- would be a fair enough definition of panic.

 

He heard voices outside the door, raised tones and clipped words before the door was open again, two sets of footsteps entering this time.

“He’s right there- Tony?” Thor called out, voice low and loud like thunder. Tony huddled in on himself further and decided not to answer.

“I can’t believe you left him alone” the other boy hissed, and even angry Tony would recognise that voice anywhere- Steve.

 

Oh god what was Steve doing here?

Tony does not want to be seen sobbing on the ground because of water falling from the sky!

“I had to come and get you, Rhodey and Bruce are away- unless you wanted me to carry him” Thor replied, equally as pissed, voice drifted as he moved his body to face Steve and turned his back on Tony.

“Yeah well-“ 

Steve and Thor never fought. They were the blonde, basically brothers. Always smiling and happy, tony didn’t like this.

“You could just y’know call each other” he rushed out in the gaps between the storm “oh wait-“

Seriously his friends reluctance towards using their phones was a damn crime.

Steve snapped around at the sound of Tony’s frail voice, eyes immediately falling upon his slouched figure, his heart beating painfully against his ribs at the sight.

They both rushed over to him, Steve slouching down beside him and quietly asking if he could touch him.

Tony nodded weakly, and was greeted by Steve’s large palms closing over the curves of his shoulder, thumbs skimming over his collar bones.

His skin was warm and soft against Tony’s, but wasn’t doing much to calm him.

“I told you to stay” Thor muttered weakly, and Tony’s heart strained at his friends expression.

“So no treat?” He smiled, before the world outside knocked it off his face.

“What are you doing down here?” Steve asked softly, voice so gentle and worried and intense that it stung Tony’s eyes and knocked the air from his chest.

“Window, deposit, cheapskate” he gasped out in between his frantic breaths, panic picking up again.

He hated that he cried, that he was choking and shaking and his eyes were too blurred to see.

Well at least he would die in Steve’s arms.

“Hey, look at me Tony- you can breathe alright, it feels like you can’t and that you’re gonna stop all together but don’t worry you’re fine- I won’t let that happen okay? I’m right here” he held Tony with one arm, quickly leaning up with the other to snap the window shut before wrapping the other around him.

Steve sounded calm, but Tony could tell it was fake, he could feel the ridged undertone of his panic, and he could feel the frantic beating of Steve’s heart vibrating through his spine.

He forced the air through his nose and let his lips fall open to expel it.

“That’s it baby, you’ll be okay soon, this will pass okay... I promise” Steve continued to ramble to him, soft voice and softer words- soft hands on his skin.

He held on, not seeming to want to let go of Tony, not that Tony would ever let him.

 

Tony looked up to see Thor had disappeared, and the door to his room was shut- he was probably watching the Kardashian’s on his laptop again.

Tony only had a few seconds to freak out about the ‘baby’ pet name, until Steve was asking if he could move.

 

“Don’t want to” Tony gasped out against Steve’s neck, from where he was currently slouched against his friend, lips accidentally brushing over the hot skin, tears dampening the collar of his friends jumper.

Steve’s hands were on his neck and in his hair, rubbing small soothing patterns into Tony’s skin and loosing his finger in his hair.

It’s strange how often they seem to end up sat on the floor together, it wasn’t exactly a fun tradition.

Tony could feel himself calming down- the thunder less frequent and the rain dying down to a dull patter, he could breath a little more freely and move a little more easily.

The stiffness in his chest and rigidness within his bones easing away with every word Steve whispered to him.

“That’s it, come on” Steve pulled Tony up, arms around his waist carrying most of his body weight - and moving into Tony’s room; sitting him down on his bed.

Tony moved to curl into the sheets and mourn the loss of Steve’s warmth- but Steve was sitting him up and frowning.

“Sweetie you need to get out of those wet clothes- you’ll catch a cold” 

THe endearments seems to be just slipping though his lips at this point.

And Tony hated how much he loved it.

“What hoodie do you want?” Steve asked him, standing in front of Tony’s draws and raising an eyebrow.

His fingers skimmed over the sleeves of his hoodies before raising to meet Tony’s eyes expectantly 

Tony had picked his shirt off and thrown it across the room, damp skin rising and falling as he breathed.

Steve’s eyes burned as they struggled to stay meeting Tony’s gaze, and not break away to linger elsewhere.

“They’re all cold” tony grumbled, fingers going for the buttons of his jeans, easing the zip down and-

Pull it together Rogers.

Steve reached into the drawers and grabbed a loose pair of sweats and handed them to Tony, who slipped them on wordlessly.

The jumpers would all be cold, unless-

“Take mine,” he slipped it off Over his head and held it out “it’ll be warmer”

Tony seemed like he wanted to graciously deny, but his hands were already reaching for it; his torso soon getting lost in the fabric.

Tony smiled up at him when his head slipped through, hair damp and tousled, cheeks still flushed.

Steve got closer and used the sleeve of his hoodie- now Tony’s?- to wipe at the moisture on the soft curves of his cheeks. Fingers darting away from the fabric until they were skimming over the other boys features, thumb stroking under his eye.

Tony leaned into the touch silently.

“You scared me” Steve breathed his admission, not letting go of Tony’s face.

Seeing Tony huddled in the corner of a room, crying so hard he couldn’t breathe had scared Steve more than anything he could remember- he could still feel the tremor in his bones, and he’s pretty sure he’s going to have nightmares about it for weeks.

“I’m sorry” Tony whispered, guilt in his voice and written over his face.

He moved over so Steve could sit beside him, and shoved his way into Steve’s arms again.

“You don’t have to be sorry- just be okay now” He leant down, breathing in the scent of Tony’s damp hair and resting there.

When Tony realised how not friendly Steve was acting, he’d probably kick Steve out of his life anyway, so Steve held on while he could. Drinking in everything about Tony while he still had the chance.

And if Tony noticed how Steve’s hands shook as they clutched him- he didn’t mention it.

They sat there for a long moment, or in fact a string of long moments, just holding on to each other and easing their breathing as the rain died down.

 

“You called me baby” Tony mumbled, voice clouded with sleep and a small smile.

Oh god he noticed.

Steve hadn’t meant to, he spent ever day of his life for the past few months struggling not to call Tony ‘baby’ or ‘hun’ or ‘Mine’

But he was terrified and didn’t know what to do, and they just slipped out.

They. Plural. Shit.

Steve wondered for a moment if Tony could feel his increased heart beat through where his back was pressed to his chest.

“I’m sorry” 

“Don’t be, liked it” Tony grinned, curling up smaller and smaller in Steve’s arms until he was just a head full of hair against Steve’s chest, the rest of him tangled on his lap and disappearing beneath the sheets.

“Like you” he mumbled, lips mouthing at Steve’s shirt.

 

Oh god-

Steve felt like he was in high school again, crowded into his room with Bucky trying to decide if like meant like, or like like; Friendly or romantic.

“As in?” Steve sank his teeth into his lower lip, he wasn’t just testing the waters- he was lobbing his body face first into them.

But Tony seemed to be following a similar game plan.

He shifted to look up at Steve, ensuring he met his gaze as he spoke.

“As in I’m hopelessly in love with you and don’t want to spend another day pretending I’m not. As in you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, as in I think about you every second yet always want to see more of you. As in a thousand things that can all be summed down to one thing....”

 

Steve’s heart was beating so hard his mouth tasted metallic, his fingernails digging into his palms.

Tony smiled 

“As in I love you, Steve Rogers “

 

Steve couldn’t breath.

 

He sat there, unmoving, just staring at tony with wide eyes.

 

Tony’s expression was quickly growing anxious, face tainted with regret- but Steve still couldn’t speak; as much as he wanted to yell out reassurance.. his lips were sealed. His heart beating too frantically for any other organ to want to work.

 

Tony loved him- not just that but..Tony was in love with him.

 

Tony.

 

The Tony who Steve did everything for, the Tony who lit up Steve’s world and illuminated his dreams, the tony who did more charity work than Steve but kept quiet about it, the Tony who learned sign language to talk to Clint, and who built a new arm for Bucky, the Tony who forgot to sleep and ended up passed out on him, the Tony who cares about what people think far more than he’d like to...- the Tony he was in love with.

He couldn’t look away from him, eyes burning from their need to blink, but he couldn’t.

Couldn’t stop tracing his smooth skin, couldn’t stop rummaging through his dark hair- wouldn’t stop meeting his eyes, wide and hopeful as they looked up at him.

Even panicking and unguarded, tony wasn’t as open as he was now, now he was completely exposed. 

Honest, and raw, and waiting

Steve couldn’t calm the thrum in his veins, or the shining in his eyes and he definitely couldn’t help his lips from twitching up into a grin, and then finishing the job and beaming at tony 

“You always confess you’re undying love after a panic attack?” He asked, moving his hand to run over Tony’s arm, smirking at him.

Any anxiety left in Tony’s face dissolved instantly, shoulder relaxing and his soft lips curving up at him.

“Maybe I have a thing for heroes” he suggested, inching closer to Steve.

Steve hummed thoughtfully “maybe”

 

“Or maybe I’m drunk?” 

 

Again Steve nodded, “entirely possible”

 

Tony mock glared but still nodded in reluctant agreement.

 

“Or maybe,” he sat up “maybe I’m just so gone on you that I couldn’t wait another day? Now or never as they say”

“Now’s good” Steve grinned, before Tony lunged forward and covered it up with his own.

Their smiles soon melted away as they melted together, Steve’s hands resting on Tony’s hips- thumbs rubbing over the exposed skin as Tony kissed him slow and deep and meaningful.

Tony’s hands were on Steve’s face, fingertips grazing his hair and thumbs resting on the dips of his cheekbones, everything slotting perfectly into place.

They didn’t rush into to some hot heated make out session- they didn’t need to.

Because Tony was kissing Steve so slowly and thoroughly that everything else withered in comparison.

Steve pulled Tony on to him, just for the pure purpose of having him closer, of showing himself it’s real.

Tony, reading his mind, pulled away; pressing a chaste kiss to Steve’s swollen lips when he made a small noise of protest.

“Just wanna see you’re real” Tony admitted quietly, hands moving to run over every aspect of Steve’s face. Every little laughter line, every dip and groove of his lips, every curve and bump and angle, catalogued in Tony’s memory.

“Don’t think I could dream you up” he grinned, not cockily for once- just so blindingly happy that Steve didn’t think twice about smiling back; returning the action out of reflex.

“Should we talk about it?” Tony pressed a kiss to the highest point of Steve’s cheek before continuing “about us?” Another kiss to his temple.

As much as Steve would like to sit up with Tony, speaking in lengths about their feelings, listing everything he adored about the smaller boy- he was far too tired.

Tony seemed to be too, his smile lazy, eyelids heavy.

Steve shifted them, laying them back until they were tucked into Tony’s bed together, sleep already tempting them.

“Tomorrow “ Steve promised

“Tomorrow I will tell you everything I love about you and we will talk about this or whatever you want. But you’re drained from the storm, and Bucky made me watch like eight movies last night so I think we both need sleep” 

Steve wrapped his arms around tony, burying his lips against his hair.

“If that’s okay? I can go if you want-” Steve asked suddenly, already moving to get out of Tony’s bed.

“Don’t you dare move Rogers, you’re stuck with me now” 

Tony wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, pulling him back against him and angling his lips up towards his.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way Stark”


End file.
